Like Insects

The worry is thick
as I balance my checkbook
and I want that sure thing.

I walk to the bar like I'm buying pornography.
See a woman with an empty face, drinking.

I give her a light for her menthol one hundred and
she tells me about her pain. 

I'm slapped by her still-wet syllable 
and glance over at hypnotic light..
The game is on.
Somebody scores last second.
Everybody in the bar is suddenly thirsty
(I'm suddenly  thirsty)
money flies out of my pockets like insects.
The beer gulps me down,
I swallow my day.
Soon I'll be cheering with the rest of them.





Better than TV

If in it you find
something transcendent,
why not be the wave
crashing? Why not be
the beam of sun cutting
through your darkness?
Why not let your eyes
burn circles in every page-
every picture that makes the air  close?
Why not drink the paint?

You are still young,
friend, and the world
breathes.
If you find the thing
the place the person
who dulls the pain or
cuts you-
spills your guts on the concrete,
leaves you like a blowout on the freeway,
at least you will feel something.
At least it will be new
sensation, a reprieve.
And the way memories that
dazzle like songs manifest,
it will flow through you like smoke.

Red Skirt like a Burning Cigarette

This blush
spreading to my ears and neck like cayenne pepper
tells everything you need to know.
Everything I’ve been sputtering out plastic bullets.
This thunderhead of nervous churning
shoots inspiration to my head.
my nostrils dilate
my pulse quickens
I feel a storm static build a charge.
The words aren’t there.
Searching…
I rain down clichéd lies like compliments.
You lean closer and the rain becomes a hurricane.
The haze of your cigarette mixes with your perfume and
it’s chalkboards and sweet dust. I’m in the eye.
Suddenly I’m making sense.
What’s your Name?

Lucidity

Are you dreaming right now
in the darkness of your room
naked under sheets and blankets

are you dreaming planes crashing or jetpack armies or surreal memories
making the world up as you go along

are you flying right now
do you know what that means
are you dreaming right now.

are you dreaming right now on the busride to work
with your headphones wrapping you up like a blanket.

are you dreaming right now of buildings with leaves or money to burn or
atomic bombs going off like ideas
are you dreaming
you better wake up
we all better wake up



Are you awake right now

Are we gonna talk about the ifs and whens of the revolution

are you awake right now  stuck, maybe
in traffic with the urge to kill riding shotgun.

are you awake right now
are you sure
look at your hands
what did they do today
how did you get here
are you awake right now.

are you alive right now
anxious about  the rent and the sex and the war and the job and the
how the book will end

are you alive right now
are you awake right now
holding your last dream in you hands like melting ice
holding your life in your mind like memory
are you awake right now
if this is real so are you.

Telephants
I didn't know I could fall apart
Garment
No matter what I try to do the rain keeps getting in
Hydroplaning the tank's on empty letters in my fist
I don't even know what my own thoughts are thinking now
Take a relic from each meeting words caught in my mouth
Unspeakable thoughts when will you let up
Static and nonsense when will you give up
Words on my tongue exhasperated you won't like what you hear
Count the yawning highway seams and try to stay awake
Static and nonsense when will you let up
When will you give up
Rustic Age
There are dark days ahead
Days on end we spend in bed there are dark days ahead
Days we spend searching the ceiling
Where our dream images dance in mockery of the unattainable
My glazed eyes scan the horizon for days
That roll slowly like molassas
Sending us roaring giggling with fright
Through innumerable layers of our own madness
Mine spreading to his his gnawing at mine
Madness
Most days we live it like we want
Skipping over thoughts like stones on a path toward something
Unnameable and miraculous
Our excess is never enough to satisfy it
There are dark days ahead
Days on end we spend in bed there are dark days ahead
Lost Cat
I ran out of things to say after hello well goodbye
I heard what you said last night to Tommy take it back that's a lie
I asked you two times you just gave a smile no reply no reply
I know now what got me here and I'll tell ya
It ain't them and it ain't you
Well hello love it's been a long time but we got nothing left to say except goodbye
I miss you so badly when you're gone but a little more when you're around
I ran out of things to say after hello well goodbye well goodbye
It's been a long time
There are somethings I understand now a little better
Well hello love you've changed and so have I
And we got nothing left to say except goodbye
Confusion
Gotta get out of here gotta get out alive
Gotta get out of here they all look alike
And flash bright white through their forced smiles
Gotta get out of here they're all closing in
And hunting us down they'll take us captive
Gotta get out of here they all sound the same
And talk of nothing through candied nose
Gotta get out here they're coming for us
Onnatwago
I watched the sunset in the reflection of a building
Another day gone by with nothing to show for what we've done
So far from where we've come from
No sign of ever turning back
We don't know where we're going
Barely remember where we've been
I watched the sunrise in the reflection of a window
Another day keeps coming, this city pulls me to my feet
These days are spinning round me, smoking and drinking like a fool
We don't know where we're going
Barely remember where we've been